LA Times Laugh Lines: Kenny Noble Cortes

April 20, 2002

LAUGH LINES

By Los Angeles Times


Cut the Chit-Chat: "Sally Jesse Raphael announced that after 20 years, her show has been canceled.
"Executives decided to cancel the show right after hearing it was still on." (Conan O'Brien)

 Screening Process: "In Florida, at Orlando International Airport, they're testing these new X-ray machines that can completely see through the passengers' clothes.... When you go through the X-ray machines, you appear on the screen completely naked.
"Finally, a way to keep the guards awake." (Jay Leno)

Up, Up and Away: "Baseball salaries are rising as fast as ticket prices. "The good news is: Ticket prices are not rising as fast as players' salaries. "The bad news is: It now takes a player's salary to fill up your gas tank." (Kenny Noble Cortes)

It Pays to Talk: "Newsweek magazine estimates that former President Clinton makes between $10 million to $15 million a year in speaking engagements. "That explains why Hilary doesn't speak to him. She can't afford it." (Leno)