Kenny's blog
November, 2008
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(‘PLAN YOUR EPITAPH DAY’)AND OF COURSE, DETROIT LIONS FANS HAVE ALREADY PLANNED THEIRS – ‘R.I.P.’ (ELSIE THE COW'S BIRTHDAY) ELSIE CELEBRATED HER BIRTHDAY WITH A BARNYARD BASH THAT FEATURED MEMORABILIA, BIRTHDAY CHEESECAKE AND AS YOU’D EXPECT, UNLIMITED CHIPS. QUESTION. DOES A 65 YEAR OLD COW GIVE SOUR MILK? (ANNIVERSARY OF JAMES CLERK MAXWELL'S BIRTH IN 1831) MAXWELL IS REMEMBERED FOR HIS PIONEERING WORK IN ELECTRICITY AND MAGNETISM, BUT ALSO FOR HIS BUG EYES AND STATIC-CLING, FINGER-IN-THE-SOCKET, ALBINO AFRO. (VETERAN’S DAY) GEORGE PATTON WAS BORN ON VETERAN'S DAY, 1885. HE WAS KNOWN AS ‘OLD BLOOD AND GUTS’. PUT ANOTHER WAY, PATTON WASN'T THE KIND OF GUY WHO WOULD EVER START A PETITION TO HAVE THE NATIONAL ANTHEM CHANGED TO ‘FREE BIRD’. (ELECTION DAY) IT’LL BE BUSINESS AS USUAL IN MOST OF AMERICA. CITIES WHERE MAYORAL ELECTIONS ARE HELD WILL ELECT MAYORS, AND STATES HOLDING GUBERNATORIAL ELECTIONS WILL ELECT GOOBERS, AND EITHER McCAIN OR OBAMA WILL TAKE HOME ALL THE MARBLES. (400 RICHEST AMERICANS) THE 400 RICHEST AMERICANS ARE COLLECTIVELY WORTH MORE THAN $1 TRILLION. HOW BIG A NUMBER IS ONE TRILLION? WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. IF YOU LAID A TRILLION DOLLAR BILLS IN A CIRCLE, THEY WOULD REACH AROUND THE MOON AND BACK, OR ABOUT THE SAME AS P DIDDY’S’ HAT SIZE. (COMEDIAN DENNIS MILLER CELEBRATES HIS BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK) DENNIS MILLER IS ONE OF MY TRUE HEROES - A GUY WHO'S GOT MORE PUNCH LINES THAN GEORGE FOREMAN'S FACE. (EDMUND HALLEY BORN NOVEMBER 8TH, 1656) THE FAMOUS COMET WAS NAMED AFTER HALLEY. ITS NEXT RETURN WILL BE IN 2061, OR WHENEVER O.J. FINDS THE REAL KILLER. WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. (NOV 7, 1805 IS LEWIS & CLARK PACIFIC OCEAN SIGHTING ANNIV) LITTLE KNOWN FACT. LEWIS & CLARK WERE NOTORIOUS BOOGEY BOARDERS AND ECSTATIC ABOUT CATCHING SOME GREAT WAVES BEFORE THE CROWDS SHOWED UP. KENNY NOBLE CORTES J |